Tag Archives: Fun

Love voyeur

12 Apr

A couple just recently moved in next door. I just heard them (very loudly) having sex. I was mildly annoyed, until suddenly one of them roared:

“Arrrrr, I love you so much.”

How could I not D’awwwww?

Oh, Amazon.com, you know me better than I know myself …

15 Dec

I was just placing some orders on Amazon.com. Nothing kinky or sexual, just some DVDs I’m buying for a family member.

When I noticed that Amazon has a new “Pay Phrase” function. I’m not entirely clear on how it works, but it seems to allow you to have things billed and sent to you without having to go through a bunch of steps.

But that’s not the interesting part. The interesting part? The default phrase they created for me:

“[My name]’s controlling assertion.”

I almost fell over laughing.

Maybe it doesn’t have to do with all the BDSM erotica I’ve purchased on Amazon over the last year – but I really kind of hope it does.


(In other news, my libido seems to have picked back up again, and I’ve found a deliciously evil and sadistic online play partner [yes, I know I said never again, but I’ve got needs] and I think I’m going to start dating again after the holidays. So I’m expecting to have more things to blog about again soon.)

“And as much ice cream as you’d like to eat.”

19 Jul

Apparently, James Spader is joining the cast of The Office.

But I’m sure he won’t be spanking any secretaries.

Oh well, a girl can (and will!) dream …


(5 points to the first person to identify the quote in the title!)

My porn boyfriend, James Deen (NSFW/your grandma’s house)

5 Jun

This feminist has a crush on a porn star, and his name is James Deen. Some of you are probably already nodding your heads.

I’m putting the rest of this behind the cut, since it’s long and has some sexy images. Yep, I’m basically pretending this blog is a dirty tumblr.
Continue reading

Why I Like Rihanna

2 Jun

At one point, I’d planned to write a whole post about Rihanna, “S&M” and abuse, but then it seemed like The Cultural Moment had passed, and so I never did. But some of the comments on my little post yesterday got me thinking, so I figured, who cares about the cultural moment? I think this stuff is interesting.

Here’s the thing: I really like Rihanna a lot. Partly, I just like her music. Yes, it’s cheesy pop music, etc., etc. But Rihanna has an amazing voice and works with some great producers. Excellent driving-to-work music.

When S&M came out, I saw three major criticisms:

1. This isn’t what BDSM really looks like!

2. She’s obviously not really into BDSM herself.

3. Clearly, this means that she wanted to get beat up by her boyfriend!

I’m not going to even address #3, because I doubt that anyone who feels that way is actually reading this blog. #1 is a bit trickier, but to that I say, “um, when is any kind of sex in a music video representative of real sex?”  As I said in my post yesterday, the video doesn’t really “speak to me,” and I’m sort of annoyed at the “ooh, whips and chains” cheesiness of it, but I’m generally annoyed at the cheesiness of how sex is portrayed in things like music videos. However, I do find the song catchy and the video fun.

#2 is the one I really want to address. It’s sort of the hipster-kinkster argument: she’s a kinky poser! Except that she’s not, as she told Rolling Stone last month:

“I like to take charge, but I love to be submissive … Being submissive in the bedroom is really fun. You get to be a little lady, to have somebody be macho and in charge of your shit. That’s sexy to me. I work a lot, and I have to make a lot of executive decisions, so when it comes to being intimate, I like to feel like I’m somebody’s girl … I like to be spanked. Being tied up is fun. I like to keep it spontaneous. Sometimes whips and chains can be overly planned – you gotta stop, get the whip from the drawer downstairs. . . . I’d rather have him use his hands.”

And here’s the thing I really like about Rihanna – her public image is of a self-assured, sexually empowered woman who knows what she wants – and what she wants, sexually, is to take a submissive role.

This is something you almost never see in mainstream pop culture. Ever since the third wave of feminism hit, we’re all supposed to be sexually empowered, which is great. But the way that’s talked about most of the time is that you need to “be in charge” and “take what you want.” This was horribly confusing to me for a long time, because “being in charge” was completely unsexy to me, so I wondered if that meant I was just sexually stunted.

And the messages out there that do encourage being sexually submissive are all about Pleasing Your Man (see Pervocracy’s excellent and hilarious monthly mocking of Cosmo for more on this). But honestly, I’m wracking my brain to think of another example of a woman whose image is centered around being sexually empowered and who talks about taking a submissive role and I can’t think of anyone else.

The other great thing about this quote is the reference to gender performance. She talks about getting to be “someone’s girl” with a macho guy taking charge. But she’s not saying “I have to act like a man in the real world, but really, I want to be a little girl because that is my True Essence.” She’s saying “it’s fun to play with gender and act out these scripts that make us both feel sexy.”

It’s damn refreshing – but also damn depressing that she’s the only one I can think of who’s managed to strike this “empowered submissive” balance in mainstream pop culture. Please, tell me I’m wrong about this!

Now for something a little less serious …

5 Apr

Today I went to the dentist for a cleaning and filling. Like everyone else in the world, I hate going to the dentist. But I do love my dentist, who is a kind and gentle soul, and who always has NPR playing in the background.

But I couldn’t help thinking about this, possibly my first introduction to BDSM, of a sort:

Continue reading