I miss you all!

11 Oct

Even the lurkers! I miss writing this blog, and having the conversations around the writing, and yet, I haven’t been feeling very motivated to post lately.

Partly it’s just life getting in the way – work and other things have been insane (in a very, very good way). I barely have time for things like cooking food and hanging out with dear friends. So finding the time and mental energy to write a thoughtful post about sexual politics has been … difficult.

But also … I think a part of me finds it difficult to always be writing about sex and relationships I’m not having. It doesn’t always feel that way. When I was really rolling with this blog, it felt like a great way to connect with this part of myself and others like me. Even if I couldn’t find a partner to express it with, at least I have this forum and the wonderful people who have been participating in it (yes, that means you).

But lately I suppose I’ve been feeling a bit frustrated about the whole thing. I haven’t even logged on to OKCupid or Fetlife for weeks. And I know that doesn’t get me any closer to finding someone, but I think I just needed a break. It’s hard to keep pouring your energy to something that’s not giving you energy back.

Anyway, for the time being, I do really need to keep my eyes on the prize with the work stuff. And that gives me energy back in spades, so it works out. But that won’t be forever, and I know I’ll be back. In the meantime, I’ll lurk on your blogs and wait for my mojo to come back.

4 Responses to “I miss you all!”

  1. RogueBambi October 11, 2011 at 12:05 PM #

    I know exactly what you’re facing! I also miss writing and commenting and having discussions, but life gets in the way. I can imagine how it must feel like, how empty, when there’s still no one to share these new thoughts with in real life. But I’m sure there will be. It’s a tough place to be, the “singles market”. It really only starts giving you energy back, when you find someone, who is more than all the others. But then the energy payback is worth it all. At least that’s the way I feel.

    Also, don’t feel you can’t write smaller posts too! I’m checking your blog out all the time to see, if there’s even tiny something here. 🙂

    • feministsub October 11, 2011 at 1:46 PM #

      Well, “empty” is probably too strong a word (if anything, my life feels a bit too full right now) but there is definitely longing.

      It really only starts giving you energy back, when you find someone, who is more than all the others. But then the energy payback is worth it all. At least that’s the way I feel.

      Definitely true. And I’m sure I’ll “get back out there” soon – I just need a break!

      I’m checking your blog out all the time to see, if there’s even tiny something here.

      Aww, thanks. I have you on my google reader and always get so excited when you post!

      • RogueBambi October 12, 2011 at 11:28 AM #

        Aww, thanks. I have you on my google reader and always get so excited when you post!

        This is nice to hear.

        Also, I was trying to find a more suitable word than empty but I was so tired, with the crying and the fighting behind me and all. 🙂 I didn’t mean that your life would be empty because you don’t have a romantic relationship, at least and all consuming one. I know I was happy alone, and my work is kind of a love affair in itself, too, like yours. 🙂

  2. SnowdropExplodes October 13, 2011 at 3:11 PM #

    Missing you, too! Like RB, I check back most days to see if there’s anything new, and even small updates are welcome 🙂

    But I know the feeling you describe and there’s really nothing to be done except take your time and get back when you’re up to it. Sometimes it’s true that “action precedes motivation”, but it’s not always the case, and getting back requires taking stock first.

    Wishing you well, and hoping the slump doesn’t last too much longer.

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