Archive | April, 2011


24 Apr

A few posts by The (awesome) Rambling Feminist got me thinking about privilege and position. Continue reading

You know what you can do with your dumb pop-psych theories about sexuality…?

16 Apr

I was all ready to write a long, rage-filled post about the latest idiotic “Women are all submissive” blog post from Psychology Today. It was really quite the target-rich environment – it’s even called Why Feminism Is the Anti-Viagra. C’mon, really?

I’m not going to quote the post itself, because it’s Saturday morning and I’m in a good mood and I don’t need a ragestroke. But essentially, the point is that all women really want a strong, dominant man and all men want a meek submissive woman. They know this because female rats assume a sexual position that makes penetration easier (those female rats, always topping from the bottom!). And … somehow feminism has ruined this. They don’t explain how, exactly, but trust them, they’re scientists! With a blog! And then they sort of offhandedly refer to the fact that there are submissive men and dominant women, but since that fact isn’t convenient to their argument, it’s brushed aside. For science. Continue reading

Thank you!

9 Apr

I just wanted to write a quick post saying “thank you!” to everyone who has commented on my blog or linked to it from your blogs.

When I started writing, I had no idea if what I wanted to write about – feminism, sex and BDSM – would be interesting to anyone else. I’m really excited by the encouragement I’ve gotten so far, and the discussions that have already taken place in the comments section.

That’s all I have to say for now, although in my head I’m currently working through a post on Rihanna, BDSM and abuse. Stay tuned.

Now for something a little less serious …

5 Apr

Today I went to the dentist for a cleaning and filling. Like everyone else in the world, I hate going to the dentist. But I do love my dentist, who is a kind and gentle soul, and who always has NPR playing in the background.

But I couldn’t help thinking about this, possibly my first introduction to BDSM, of a sort:

Continue reading


4 Apr

Maymay’s response to my last post got me thinking about power.

The guy I talked about in this post once told me, when we were sharing fantasies, “The amount of power you want to give your partner – it’s unbelievably hot.” Oddly enough, I had never thought about it that way – I’d thought about my partner “taking charge” or ‘taking control.” Him taking. I hadn’t thought about me giving. And I hadn’t really thought too much about power exchange in an explicit way. Continue reading